Two Poems by Sasha Debevec-McKenney

Sasha Debevec-McKenney shares two new poems that flicker across mundanities, introspections, and desires.

I’M NOT WRITING BECAUSE I’M FINALLY IN LOVE

I’m trying to increase my suffering
in other ways — jogging very early
in the morning, all this dental work
in quick succession, my numb mouth,
wet drool, I try to make life hurt again,
shoes too tight, thighs rubbing together,
plucking thin hairs off my bent knees,
some days I eat vegetarian while
the rotisserie chicken in my fridge begs
to be torn apart. I stop at yellow lights now.
Whatever it takes to increase production.
As I sit idling in front of a passing train,
ten, fifteen, twenty minutes, the cars
behind me reversing, turning back —
but I’m in love and I don’t have anything else
to do. I know the sad train ends.

Apartment

swept, waiting
for the rain
to stop so I can
step outside and
beat the rug —
You know how
you know what
you don’t want
in your next
apartment? Even if
you don’t know
what’s next, what exactly
you do want, you do know
what you don’t
like about how
you live now? I don’t
want a glass shower
or a door
that opens onto
the street — I want
a place to put
my dirty shoes,
a barrier between
inside and outside,
but here, now
I pause
my podcast and listen
to the rain,
then eat a room
temperature strawberry,
move the incense
into the kitchen,
scrub the toilet,
collect all the scrap
paper —
Claire had
a dream I had
a room of shelves
full of purple glassware
that sent purple light
over all the walls
and in the dream
Claire thought
'Sasha, love
has found you.'
I imagine myself
in that room
until the rain stops

Joy Is My Middle Name by Sasha Debevec-McKenney (Fitzcarraldo Editions) will publish 3 July, 2025. 

Image: A Garden in the Sunshine by Henri Martin